Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
