4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
