Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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