thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
