I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
