idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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