Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Randomize
