it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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