Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize