Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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