i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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