I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
