ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
