Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
