We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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