just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
