I heard we made out
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
