I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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