Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
