Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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