There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
