I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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