its not stalking. its research.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
