I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
