she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
