this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
