There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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