every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
