haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize