my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
