I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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