I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
