Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
