Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
