i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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