doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
