i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
