After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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