its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
