he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
