Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize