i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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