I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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