help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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