You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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