Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
