I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
