I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't put those talents on a resume
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
