The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
