just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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