Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
