im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
