As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
