SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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