Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
