Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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