White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to make out with him forever
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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