but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
