I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
