i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
