Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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