oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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