Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize