every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
