I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
