The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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